Don't Jump UsamixMisaki
by R-A-W-R-I-E
Summary: Another SongFic Based on the song 'Don't Jump' by Tokio Hotel. Usagi-san's karma catches up with him as Misaki stands there, watching over the city. Step by step... can Usagi-san persuade his lover to come back to him or could it be the end? OOC... R


Another SongFic. Slightly more depressing and maybe out of character (OOC) in places. Also in Usami-san's P.O.V. Read and review please. All A/N will be at the bottom of the story if you didn't quite get it. ENJOY!

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My life was a jigsaw with missing pieces until I met him.

That innocent, naïve, young boy.

That boy… my heart and mind devote themselves solely to him. Never straying.

One of life's little pleasures is when you find that last piece to the jigsaw you worked so hard to complete.

Even as I watch over him this very minute…

… I know my heart will always be with him.

_**On top of the roof,**_

_**The air is so cold and so calm.**_

So why? Were you _really_ that unhappy?

Forgive me for not understanding sooner that you were suffering.

I was too blind trying to stop a relationship between you and… him.

A relationship that took me till this moment to realize…

… was non-existent.

So as you stood there. On the top of that building.

I was completely unaware.

By the time I realized where you were… I guess it was too late.

Your mind was set.

Looking down upon the city you were about to leave behind…

… It killed me.

_**I say your name in silence,**_

_**You don't want to hear it right now.**_

I remember a lot of that night.

My feet pounding against the ground, sending the rainwater from the puddles in all directions.

My arms frantically trying to push myself to run faster.

My mind focused on you. All my selfishness was pushed aside as I came towards that area.

Yelling your name.

Screaming you name

Hysterically screaming your name till I had no breath left.

I couldn't reach you.

But if I waited any longer…

…You may have reached me.

But not in the state I'd be happy to see you in.

Far from it.

I think at that moment I was the furthest away from you than I've ever been - both in distance and in mind.

For once I didn't know what was on your mind…

… But was I ever _truly_ aware of that anyway?

But right now… at this very minute as I watch you…

… I'm always with you - even though you don't know it…

… In both mind and… spirit.

_**The eyes of the city,**_

_**Are counting the tears falling down.**_

Everyone was crowded at the foot of that building.

People in that particular building evacuated to see what all the commotion was about.

Whereas those who knew leaned out of their windows…

… Pleading for you to reconsider.

I don't think you heard them though.

Maybe…

Did you really want to leave?

Even at the bottom I swore I saw a single tear falling mixing in with the rain that thundered down.

Was you sad…?

Or was it how I just assumed you were fine when clearly you wasn't?

Actually…

… It's raining now isn't it?

Well… I guess this time…

… Those are my tears…

_**Each one a promise,**_

_**Of everything you never found.**_

I realized it now.

I truly am selfish.

I only thought of what _I_ wanted. Regardless.

Whatever I wanted…

… That always came first.

And although you cussed at me for using you as material in my manuscript…

… I still continued.

You hated it - I know that now.

But a part of me didn't quite grasp those feelings.

I know at times I hurt you… not physically - but emotionally.

You even had to become wary of me at times, didn't you?

I remember saying something about protecting you before.

That was a promise.

And yet, I couldn't do that right, could I?

In fact you protected me once didn't you?

With that bus that was about to run me over.

You looked out for me.

You always _have_ looked out for me.

Then there's me…

… I _promised_ I'll look after you, but I can't even look after myself…

… can I?

In all respect, I never really looked out for you. Neither did I fully protect you - although I always said I was.

But now I know I was lying.

Until that split second…

… I really did protect you then.

And I'm here to prove it.

_**I scream into the night for you,**_

_**Don't make it true.**_

_**Don't jump!**_

I saw your feet shuffle slightly upon the grim looking rooftop.

My heart stopped.

You wouldn't… would you?

I just heard myself crying out your name.

If you were serious… I wouldn't dare let you do something so irrationally.

I felt all those emotions I've bottled up for so long just being released as I wailed out your name.

Remember when I said I've never cried in front of anyone since the day I was born except you?

Well, that's no longer true.

I didn't care who saw me then.

You looked down into my eyes…

… I'm sure you did.

But what was that look for?

What _was _that look?

_**The lights will not guide you through,**_

_**They're deceiving you.**_

_**Don't jump!**_

What was on your mind then?

You were just standing there.

And I was standing below.

Feeling helpless…

… Because I was.

… Because it was my fault.

When people say that before you die your life flashes before your eyes…

… They're wrong.

Or that before you die, a bright light comes your way to greet you into the afterlife…

… That's just an old wives' tale.

Trust me, I know.

_**Don't let memories go,**_

_**Of me and you.**_

_**The world is down there out of view.**_

Deep down… I thought… just maybe…

But then as I looked up I realized…

… Just how serious you were.

I wish I could just give you all our memories that we shared.

Maybe that would change your mind.

But right now there is only one other thing I could do.

And taking in all those pieces of our past into my head…

… I did it for you, Misaki.

See?

_**Please don't jump.**_

I did all this in hope that you'll not do it again.

But now my words won't ever reach you again…

_**You open your eyes,**_

_**But you can't remember what for.**_

I watch intently.

Waiting for your next move as I force my way towards you.

The police and the barrier trying to hold me back.

I see as your closed eyes open and take a view of the world below.

I wonder what you was thinking then.

I remember you once saying that there's not much in this world to look forward to.

So maybe you was serious.

Maybe that was a sign that you used to test me.

And my pride just couldn't see all that you were trying to throw at me.

Well… if that's what you believe, Misaki…

… You better change your attitude.

Life is short-lived.

_**The snow falls quietly,**_

_**You just can't feel it no more.**_

Just before I enter the building…

… I see you.

You turning your body around.

For that moment I found the slightest bit of hope.

But then I swore I saw another tear as you looked down at me…

… Shaking your head.

Your legs wobbling.

Your body growing numb due to the icy drops of rain that bombarded you.

The world around you becoming more distant.

You think nobody's there to be with you at times.

But now…

… No matter if you believe it or not…

… I'll always be at your side.

_**Somewhere up there,**_

_**You lost yourself in your pain.**_

Darting up the flight of steps whilst heaving myself up with the railings, I could only imagine what was racing through your mind.

When you were slightly 'out of it' and woke to see him on me…

… Speaking those ill-spoken words.

God knows what you must have thought.

I'd never betray you…

… But I suppose given the situation at that time…

… It must've been hard to believe those words.

Despite the fact that no matter what…

… They'll always be true.

I'm sorry Misaki.

Forgive me for the pain I've inflicted onto you.

But as your living flower grows healthier and alive…

… The symbol of my own has wilted to nothing…

… Because I'm without you.

_**You dream of the end,**_

_**To start all over again.**_

Standing before you.

On that roof.

Feeling the gentle breeze brush past me.

Our eyes met. Locked onto each other.

Helplessly, I watch you, petrified.

Staring into your eyes, I could tell that you were serious.

As I stepped forward…

… You took a small step back.

Your mind fixed.

You wanted a new life, right?

Just not in this world.

Well I suppose now you're out of my life…

… Your dream is now my reality.

_**I scream into the night for you,**_

_**Don't make it true.**_

_**Don't jump!**_

So desperate I was.

I just ran at you.

Screaming for you to not jump and as I finally came closer to you.

With my heart pounding in terror, I watched as you took another step.

One more step out of my life…

… If you could call it that.

_**The lights won't guide you through,**_

_**They're deceiving you.**_

_**Don't jump!**_

I just heard myself screaming your name…

_**Don't let memories go,**_

_**Of me and you.**_

_**The world is down there out of view.**_

Now I sit here - watching you watch over me from where you are…

_**Please don't jump!**_

_**Don't jump!**_

I'll never forget that it was my fault…

_**I scream into the night for you,**_

_**Don't make it true.**_

_**Don't jump!**_

I'm the one who pushed you to it…

_**The lights won't guide you through,**_

_**They're deceiving you.**_

_**Don't jump!**_

Now all that's left is mere memories…

_**Don't let memories go,**_

_**Of you and me.**_

_**The world is down there out of view.**_

Memories that I'll treasure forever…

_**Please don't jump!**_

_**Don't jump!**_

When I saved your life and replaced it with mine…

_**And if all that can't hold you back,**_

_**I'll jump for you.**_

Now as I fall…

Looking up at your arm stretching out…

You voice blurring in my mind…

My world turns to darkness…

As I wait for you in the next world…

… Misaki…

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A/N: Righto... I hope you liked it (sorry if it was depressing). Anyways, basically Usami-san is... um... in heaven at the beginning and is just saying a few words before the song part of the SongFic comes in. Whenever Usami mentions ''him'' he is referring to Sumi. At the end of each bit of writing before it goes to the lyrics of the song his words are implying that he is dead and not Misaki. In fact, Usami isn't alive for the whole peom... he is just saying what happened in his point of view (I'm only saying that 'cause my sister was confused when she read it)

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It IS meant to be confusing. I wanted a story where you didn't quite know who was alive and who wasn't till the end where it all concludes (well, it was going to say at the very very very end:

... Misaki....

The missing piece of my jigsaw

But then I thought 'nahh' that'll be fine for now.

I was aiming for ways to imply that Usami was dead without him actually saying it... so I think I did quite well at that.

Review please people and tell me what you thought.


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